The Sunbaked King

When I was seventeen, something magical happened to me. I fell in love. And it wasn’t just any ordinary type of love—I fell in love with my One Great Love¹.

It’s a cliché, but it must be said: it happened unexpectedly. I was in college back then, and all that I could think of was to shine academically, and perhaps expand my social circles with a few more friends or so. My love life, alien as the concept was, did not occur to me as a clear and present need. I was moving through life through ways that did not require companionship, and I was floating along at a pace that did not require someone to keep my speed in check.

But then that One Great Love came along through a flurry of whispers and silences and glances and smiles. Needless to say, I got caught in the windstorm.

Lest you get any strange ideas, this entry does not serve to reminisce about that One Great Love. As Stephen King’s favourite gunslinger would put it, the world has moved on, and so have we. This entry just serves as a reminder that perhaps being actively on the lookout for the Next Great Love is an exercise in futility; that perhaps the best thing to do during these times of aloneness is to do what I have already excelled in doing before. Just float along.

Besides, my expectations have changed with the times. The fairy tale existence I once lived was brought about in part by the environment in which it was set, and in part by the state of mind I was in. I cannot pretend to be that innocent sophomore any longer. I have been tarnished with experiences of lust and pain and hurt and sorrow, and I can no longer go back to the way things were. I think I have already crossed that line a long time ago. But with any change in expectations, there’s always the realization that I have to deal with it in order to survive. Human beings are resilient that way, and I am no exception.

I may no longer meet my royalty in the same magical and majestic manner I have before, but being human should suffice. The world can be a grim and lonely place to be in; as we make our way through the darkness, we don’t really need heroes or saviors. We just want to stumble into someone who’s willing to take our hand and traverse the path together.

That’s all I’m looking for. That’s all I really need.